The Asterix authors had great fun at the Brits' expense in Asterix Chez Les Bretons. In the interests of editorial balance, here are some jokes at the expense of the French.
Q. What's the difference between Frenchmen and toast?
A. You can make soldiers out of toast.
Q: How many people does it take to defend Paris?
A: Nobody knows, it's never been tried.
Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad?
A: A salesman.
Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
A. The Army.
Q. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?
A. So the Germans could march in the shade.
Q. How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn?
A. Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes.
A Frenchwoman with a parrot on her shoulder walks into a bar. The barman says "That's an real ugly bird you've there. Where did you get it?"
The parrot says "I got it in France ... There's millions of 'em there"
A French and American general were surveying a battlefield. A bullet strikes the American general, grazing his arm. He shouts "Aide! Bring me my red jacket!"
The French general asks "Why did you do that?"
The American general responds "So my men don't see that I'm bleeding, and lose hope."
A second bullet narrowly misses the French general's ear, and he shouts: "Aide! Bring me my brown trousers!"
The French battle flag - three white fleurs-de-lys on a white background.
Q: You go to a cockfight. How do you know if a Frenchman is there?
A: He's the one with a duck.
Q: How do you know if an Italian is there?
A: He bet on the duck.
Q: How do you know if the Mafia is there?
A: The duck wins.
Q: Why do the French call their fighter the "Mirage"?
A: Because it's never seen in a combat zone.
"In response to recent terror attacks, the French government have raised their terror alert status from Run to Hide. If attacks continue on the continent they may be forced to further increase the alert to Surrender, or even as high as Collaborate."
"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country." Mark Twain.
"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." General George S. Patton
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." French President Jacques Chirac
"I just love the French. They taste like chicken!" Hannibal Lecter
"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." Marge Simpson
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